I am feeling so incredibly antsy. And bored. And lonely. I can’t even remember the last time I went out and went wild. Seems like forever ago! I don’t want to get drunk or high or do anything too stupid. I just want to get out of the house and feel some kind of freedom from this soul crushing routine even if its just for a few hours!
But then where would I go? There is snow everywhere, any kind of real escape would cost quite a bit of money and clubs are for kids and single people. (and are usually full of putzes anyway)
When I was a senior in high school and during my undergrad in university, my former best friend and I used to go for long drives in my parents car. Summer or winter, when we got sick of staring at the four walls of our houses, we would drive around in the farmlands and look at stars. Those same fields have since been taken over by town homes and box stores and our friendship soured and ended, but the fun we had and the spontaneity of those drives will always be a beautiful memory to me.
But surely those days aren’t over yet right? I now own a car and can go anywhere I want…but now it seems like much more work and there is the whole cost-benefit analysis going on in my brain. ie:
“Is driving to XYZ worth the gas money and preparation? Is going to such-and-such’s-I-barely-know-this-person’s party worth the aggravation? What if I spend most of my time staring at bean dip, bored out of my mind, while everyone else forms awkward, impenetrable cliques?”
Whatever happened to just going out and being open to come what may? Whatever happened to laughing until my sides hurt? Seems it has fallen by the wayside in a cycle of work-commute-darkness-sleep-worry about money.