Do you consider yourself a patient person? Because I’m really not patient, at all.
In terms of patience with people, well, that’s almost completely out the window! I have a hard time tolerating stupid, insensitive, ignorant, mean or petty comments or behaviour. This tendency has bitten me in the ass once or twice. At work, for example, certain people at my office pissed me off so much, that I let it show, which was a mistake. (Even though, frankly, they deserved much worse) Because, promptly thereafter, they thought I was the one with the problem and not them. This made the work environment that much more uncomfortable. But its a frustrating thing about some people-They act like jackasses, you get mad and they wonder why! LOL.
Outside of work, my reactions to these types of comments have either been confrontation, which doesn’t usually work, or ignoring them followed swiftly by a cold shoulder and quietly berating towards the person who made the comments.
But perhaps I am being too hard on people-I mean, we all say stupid, thoughtless things sometimes and I am certainly no exception. But asides from the obvious indicators that someone is an a-hole (ie. People who yell at scream all the time, outwardly insult you, make harsh racist/sexist/homophobic comments, hit you, etc.) how do you differentiate between individuals who are genuinely toxic vs those who are just human and make mistakes? Is it the frequency of the comments? The intent? What if you just happen to catch them at a bad time and some people can be hard to read or have difficulty communicating. I suppose I tend to write off some people, because I was in toxic relationships and friendships in the past, where I was being mistreated, so out of not wanting to repeat those experiences, I now cut people off. It seems easier then having to try and deal with them, but I could be missing all the positive characteristics that person may have. Perhaps the goal then is to find the best in people and try and bring it out of them.
I am also pretty impatient with myself and activities that I undertake. If something isn’t going well right away, I tend to become upset and second guess my abilities. Anything worth pursuing takes time and effort, but its hard to remember that when you expect things to be perfect right away.
How about you? Are you patient? What are some tricks you’ve learned to not lose your cool all the time?