Surrounded by Cheesy Vampires

Last night, Hubby and I watched the season finale of True Blood. My interest in the show has been severely waning over this past season. Between the bad acting, fairies (wtf??), ridiculous plots and cheesy lines, the show is starting to stink. And stink bad. When the show first began, bastardized versions of vampires were just starting to become popular. It seems now that any show or movie that features a guy with too much gel in his hair, caked on makeup and a perma- scowl, is now a vampire who makes all the girls swoon. The monster of legend has been replaced by impotent teenage pretty boys who decide to spend their eternity teasing teen girl groupies. Gag me with a crucifix!

But True Blood seemed more true to the original idea of sex and blood. The characters were interesting and the show was funny. Then things got ridiculous and then really, really stupid. Last night, I laughed as Sookie batted her eyelashes (for the millionth time during the series) at a trucker, who is apparently a werewolf. Just a question: Why are all “werewolves” now CGI wolves, how come none look like this anymore?:

Anyways, also in last night’s gem, there was one horrendously awful scene where two vamps literally go Matrix on each other. It felt like I was watching one of those terrible “Scary Movie” movies. Just true farce the whole way.

Needless to say, I won’t be watching the next season. A couple weeks ago, after mentioning my dissatisfaction with the show’s direction, my friend gave me the books to read. I got to about the middle of the first one before I lost complete interest. The books aren’t terrible, but they aren’t great either. The author tries way too hard to be witty and humorous and honestly it bored the hell out of me. (She also apparently blatantly rips off a dozen role playing books and games, but I wouldn’t know because I don’t read or play these games) Maybe the books get better, but I won’t hold my breath.

Anyways, as a horror geek, I provide to you the following recommendations of good vampire entertainment:

1. Bram Stoker’s “Dracula

2. Thirst (aka.Bakjwi in Korean)

3. Blade (The first one is decent, the sequels are meh!)

4.Vampire Hunter D

5. Interview with the Vampire

6. Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter-Funny camp that was made right here in Ottawa!

7.The Hunger

8.Vampyres (Lesbian vampires hunting tourists! Sexy stuff but it’s not porn, I swear!)

9.Cronos

10. Daybreakers (Recent one that has an interesting plot, unlike many other vampire movies)

and for fun 11. Dead and Loving It

So that’s it, if you have any other recommendations, feel free. I’m a bit sick of vampires now though. Time to move on to something else Hollywood or at least get more imaginative writers!

Pretty boy Vamp pic: http://www.vampiressuckmovie.com

Werewolf pic: http://media.photobucket.com/image/werewolf/bfoster15no2/WereWolf.jpg

Matrix pic: http://cybershaw.blogspot.com

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23 thoughts on “Surrounded by Cheesy Vampires

  1. artman2112

    i didnt like Interview with a vampire at all but i pretty much loathe Tom Cruise anyway so it had no chance, lol! i def enjoyed the 1 st Blade film! i would add that i think any Vampire film lover has to see the silent era Nosferatu, which, to me, contains to this day the scariest looking vampire ever, and the expressionist German visuals are great, plus its only a tad over an hour long so yeah must see for Vamp lovers! makes these modern-day sissy mary vampire wannabees look like, ummm, yeah what i just said!

    but honestly i am sick to death of Vampires right now! ugh!!

  2. Laura

    I am going to use your phrase “going all Matrix” – that’s brilliant! (hope you don’t mind) I’m not a fan of vampire movies but I think the list looks interesting…especially #6 since it was made in Ottawa.

  3. Jen

    I really enjoyed and recommend Shadow of the Vampire — it has Willem Dafoe, Malkovich, and Cary Elwes (the Dread Pirate Roberts!)

  4. Robin

    Yeah, every season has been worse than the one before it. I couldn’t care less about the show anymore and may not bother next season.

  5. Finola

    I am probably the only person around who has never seen True Blood, but I just can’t get into the vampire genre. Even the good ones you list above don’t grab me.
    I had heard so much about TB that I thought that maybe I should try it though, but thanks to you, I don’t need to bother now 🙂

  6. nova

    Yeah I agree. The books were lame and when I started watching True Blood I was like “This is gonna be terrible.” It wasn’t!

    This season only had one moment that made me go “WOAH”, when what’s-his-face was on the news and did that thing to that newscaster. You know what I’m talking about. They should have used something like that in the finale instead of this bullshit fairy thing and were-panthers that I knew was coming because I read the books but still…

    Terrible.

  7. Pauline Post author

    Get off my Lawn-It’s a good one! Bowie was creepy as hell in it!
    Artman-I’m not big on Cruise either, but I think he did a great job in Interview. Can you believe I have not yet seen “Nosferatu?”. Something to add to my Cinemail list for sure!
    Laura-Thanks. Too many movies and shows go all “Matrix” for my taste. It becomes idiotic! Yes, see “Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter”! It is bad..but in a good way and the clothing was supplied by the now defunct store Allegro. (It used to be a great store. What the hell happened?)
    Jen-Solid cast. I will check it out!
    Writerdood-Both great films that are true to their source material. (Which is the way movies should be damnit!:))

  8. Pauline Post author

    Robin-It’s sad isn’t it? I think “Six Feet Under” was the only show that was consistently amazing from start to finish.
    Finola-Well, like I said the first season is entertaining, but there are other shows out there. One that I can’t wait to see is “Breaking Bad”. Completely unrelated to vamps and supposed to be great!
    Nova-I agree, the way things were finished was just dreadful. Also how many f-ing fantasy creatures does one show have to have? It’s too much!
    LiLu-That scene made me laugh out loud as did several other moments. If that scene is in one of the books, then I am definitely not reading the rest of them! What the hell were they thinking?

  9. Lynn

    I’m a die-hard Buffy fan and no other vampire show will ever compare. In fact, I’m going to get my Season 2 DVDs out right now.

    “Gag me with a crucifix” is my new catch phrase. I’m thinking butt tattoo.

  10. Foggy Dew

    Might I suggest 30 Days of Night? Vampires in Barrow, Alaska, during the month where the sun never rises. Interesting concept. Cheesey, but interesting.

  11. pieces of me

    I thought Day Breakers was terrible as far as Vampire stories go.

    I do enjoy True Blood although I am not sure where it is going…I enjoyed Season one so much and the rest was ok, I think it focuses too much on porn like scenarios. I want a deeper story…and oh yeah, I hate Twilight and nope. I will not watch Vampire Diaries…

    I suggest one…

    Let the Right one in (in swedish, not dubbed)
    great movie, great story!

    the remake is coming out
    LET ME IN…
    ever watch Heroes? this was such a good show and they ruined it as it went on…

    Six Feet Under

    BEST SHOW EVER!

  12. Pauline Post author

    Lynn-I liked “Buffy” when it aired too! I was about 17-18 and used to watch it with my mom. It had its predictable and dumb scenes, but overall, I thought it was entertaining.:)
    Take pictures of your new tattoo! 😉
    Foggy Dew-I saw that movie and liked it! I’d like to read the comic too!
    Pieces of me-Really? I liked “Daybreakers”. It had a different plot then most other vamp stories. I’ve seen “Let the Right one in” and while I thought it was an interesting premise and the acting was great, it didn’t seem to live up to the hype in my mind. Yes, I heard about the remake and not to gripe, but why? I mean, why do there have to be Hollywood versions of every single movie on the planet? It should stay Swedish!

    But I definitely agree with you on “Six Feet Under”, it was the best show ever!:)

  13. Kate

    I’m with you — let’s move on from the vampires! I still watch True Blood on DVD, but the second half of the second season wasn’t terribly enjoyable. I love Sookie and … that’s about it. Should I quit while I’m ahead and not watch season 3?

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