Are you happy with who you are currently? What are some areas you would like to improve? Perfection is impossible, but is there an image of yourself that you would like to achieve? My ideal self is a cool, easygoing chick who is well-liked and doesn’t worry about petty things or people. She’s in control of her life and emotions and things just slide right off her back. Rather than freaking out, she laughs things off.
As much as I’d like to say that I am my ideal self, I’m still not there yet and I’ve made some mistakes with people which I kinda wish that I could fix. Over the past few years, some people have said things that offended me and instead of telling them directly, I said nothing, stewed over it and then cut them off. It was passive aggressive and caused my ideal self to scream “What the hell are you doing?!” across the gap of our differences.*
Or I let things get personal-too personal-when I should have kept it professional. It’s a fact of life that you’re not going to like all your coworkers, but I should have kept a stiff upper lip and just ignored their craziness. Instead, I became stubborn and petulant and spent too much time letting them get to me. They were being jerks, but by reacting angrily to them, it resulted in me justifying their opinions of me and definitely threw a wrench into getting shit done at work. (Of course it is tougher to stay cool at work because A)Unless you’re really lucky, you don’t usually want to be there and B) You don’t choose your coworkers)
So, I’m considering reaching out to a few who I hastily closed the door on too quickly. Now don’t get the wrong idea: I won’t be reconnecting with people who were very toxic or who it is abundantly clear, that I’ve outgrown. Some social connections definitely have a best before date.
I’m just tired of my sometimes obsessive, kind of paranoid, overly judgemental, grudgeholding self and want to try and see if I can clear some misunderstandings that I have had over the past few years. It isn’t fair to completely disregard someone over one little comment or two(Unless the comments are very hurtful or racist/sexist/homophobic, etc), and I certainly have said some boneheaded things in the past too!
My “experiment” might end in disaster or it might end up o.k. It may even result in silence on their end, but hey at least I tried. I won’t be bringing up their previous comments, since that will probably result in them becoming defensive, I’m just going to ask how they’re doing and try to press the “reboot” button on our connection.
How about you? Have you ever tried reconnecting with people who you previously shrugged off?
*I should mention that I’d also like to reconnect with some people who I’ve fallen out of contact with due to other issues, ie. computer problems, lack of time, etc.*