Monthly Archives: January 2013

The Loneliness of School

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I’m not sure if anyone is still reading this but I thought ‘What the hell? I just put it out there anyways!’ Maybe there are some other old fart students who can relate or even just regular students who are struggling socially.

I have been feeling so incredibly lonely in school. You might think that it’s me, maybe I’m doing something wrong, but I’ve been friendly, helpful, and happy because I love what I’m learning. (Well most of the time, there have been a few growing pains which is normal)

I’ve helped people out willingly, given rides home, laughed, listened to their stories, empathized, but I just still don’t feel like I fit in with the students. I’m not wanted or missed and feel like an island. Sometimes I just feel plain used too.

Of course, people go to college to learn new skills, not necessarily to make new friends, but networking is incredibly important and I just don’t feel like I can count on anyone in my classes to be a contact for possible work or as a good friend.

People don’t really care about me and a few don’t like me for no-good reason and it just hurts.

Of course the age thing doesn’t help either-Many don’ t get the references I make and I feel like I can relate more to the profs more than the students. (Makes sense since one of them is only a couple years older than me)

Speaking of the profs, it is so depressing to hear them talk about working in the industry for the past ten or fifteen years, while I pissed my twenties away working as a retail employee-secretary-retail employee-secretary-mailroom clerk.

I know, I know, nothing I can do about it now, but regret doesn’t really ever go away completely, it just fades a bit in the background. 

Maybe I’m also feeling like this because my husband moved to Guelph last Friday, while I’m still here in Ottawa. He got a job there, which is great and believe me, I’m happy for him, but the house can feel really empty. I felt the inklings of loneliness and stress in school when he was here, but it does make things a bit tougher.

Anyways, apart from the loneliness, school is great, I love what we’re doing and enjoy design so much. I just wish I could make some great friends and feel appreciated.

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